"For God is not a God of confusion but of peace."
1 Corinthians 14:33, ESV
For as long as I can remember change has been a struggle for me.
When my dad decided to sell the tire business that had been in our family for over 50 years and go into real estate, I cried and begged him not to. Even though this career change late in life has been such a great decision for my dad, I couldn't stand the fact that we were letting go of our family business. I was 14 at the time which makes it even more hilarious that I was so concerned with this.
My senior year of high school I'm pretty sure I cried every night for 4 months leading up to graduation and my last dance recital. The thought of saying goodbye to my dancers, and best friends was emotionally draining.
My last Kappa pref night, function, formal, etc. left me feeling all nostalgic. Not to mention the whole college graduation and saying goodbye to my amazing sorority sisters thing.
Then there was the move to Little Rock. A week before I was supposed to spend my first night in my new house I had a major, major meltdown. We're talking hyperventilating, snot running down my nose, bawling my eyes out, meltdown.
And my personal favorite was when my laptop stopped working and I had to buy a new one the day before starting pharmacy school. It took everything in me to hold back my tears in Best Buy. This also happened when I gave up my beloved Blackberry for a dumb iPhone (which I have learned to love more than my Blackberry). Did I mention I hate change? Okay just checking.
Some of you are probably laughing at how incredibly pathetic I am when it comes to change. Lately, I have been challenged by my struggle with change and have looked at the root of why I feel this way.
A lot of it is because of how content I am with the way things in my life are going. I wouldn't say this is necessarily a bad thing because Paul teaches us in Philippians to be content in all circumstances (Phil 4:11-13). Funny how he talks about being content in ALL circumstances. Not just situations we feel safe and secure in. When we fail to allow ourselves to adapt to new seasons of life, we have another issue in our hearts. An issue of trust.
It all comes down to do we trust God. Do we trust Him to put us in the place we are supposed to be, at the perfect time, surrounded by people He so carefully chooses to bless us with?
That has been the kicker right there. Saying goodbye to people is the hardest thing for me. I don't like thinking about not having people in my life anymore when they have had such a huge impact on who I am.
However, God continues to remind me that He is the author of my days. And I shouldn't question that He has me right where He wants me in order to bring Him the most glory.
Trust in God's sovereignty even when you have no idea where your life is headed. He loves you and wants to shower you with His grace and His goodness. That in itself is all the reason we need to put all of our faith in Him alone.
"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." Psalm 9:10
